Why don’t you have a job this summer?  Is probably the most common question I get these days. 

People often wonder why I write in this blog about the various things I want to do.  It’s not that I have stopped wanting to do any of them, but the thing is I am a creative with a practical mind.  How can I turn my creativity into money?? 

Money is not evil despite what many say, it is the LOVE of money that is evil.  It is very hard to buy groceries, pay bills or much else without it.  I enjoy 4 months of taxes… then I lose interest.  Bookkeeping is not me… so what do I do?

I have kept track of Dr. Joe Vitale for a while.  He said something along the lines of do what you love, because you will fully come to life and people will see that and money will follow.  My soul loves just about anything creative… that’s why I work on my store BlueLemonadeStand.com, why I want to paint, write, I would gladly accept an acting job especially if I got to play around with accents. Fortunately and sometimes unfortunately I pick up accents EASILY.  Can also mimic farm animal noises.

Stories creep around my head, images, pictures, drawings, whenever I have a class I like to have a notebook so I can doodle.  Oddly it helps me focus.  Some days the desire to be creative feels like the Nigara Falls, pulling, overwhelming, thunderous, enormous… and the almost crazed desire to turn it into something, anything, that could help people and further my creative desire…

Practical me is overwhelmed, confused.  It battles the creative screaming we must make money, we must pay bills, buy groceries, give money to help others….  but the battle is changing, the creative side is starting to grow stronger… so what happens now?

So my birthday was last week. Which one?  Uh it was thirty (mumble). 

Then the question people often ask after a birthday is “What did you get??”  Well, that’s an interesting story. 

Hungry Baby Cardinals

See it was Thursday May 29th, my day to work at Molina’s for a few hours.  Everyone was excited that it was my birthday, they scared me, by jumping out singing Happy Birthday and giving me a Sopapilla.  Then I went to visit ST and her kids, 4, not all 5, the oldest was doing something.

Noticed my foot started hurting, one foot turned bright red.  I have worn this pair of shoes 3 times, and now learn that I am allergic to them.   Went home changed to tennis shoes to wear to my parents house. My parents gave me a SanDiscMP3 Player.

Well the next morning was Friday, May 30th. My foot had one big blister surrounded by lots of little blisters.  I wanted to go for my walk so I stuck the big blister with a pin.  Then proceed to slowly pat it with a tissue to reduce the liquid.  4 times I patted it… then it POPPED!  Lots of fluid. A bit later in the day I took this picture.  

Evil shoes did this to my foot.

CE and I were to have a b-day dinner.  He comes in that night, we find out that someone STOLE THE OIL TANK RIGHT OUT OF THE BOAT!  In my front yard!   Why??  What could they have wanted with an oil tank??  I guess they thought it was gas.  On the plus side they did not cut the tubes. (I got a new tank on Monday.)    We buy an oil disposal can and can make it work for an oil tank for one trip to the lake. 

Saturday May 31st We caught a BUNCH of fish.  But because I was afraid of things getting into my blister on my foot I taped gauze to it, and didn’t wear shoes because shoes hurt.  Unfortunately I didn’t get sunblock all the way to the tape.  Actually I think it’s because the blisters were lonely…  Now it’s June 1st I have a busted blister, little blisters and a sunburnt chevron on my foot.

The blisters were lonely, so I added a sunburn.

~~~ Life without Edges ~~~

Why do we take our lives as set??

There’s more at stake, than simple bet.

We are God created, full spirit beings

Yet life sedated; our daily ceilings.

We must bust cages, break our lives free.

Life without edges, true selves we see.

Our lives are more, if we just believe.

Life beyond store, yes, we can achieve.

~~ Martha Schrader May 29, 2008

I have been reading lots lately, trying to find my path.  Yet each book I read, tells me that we have more inside than we allow.  We limit ourselves, we are afraid to reach for the stars.  Afraid we won’t reach them, and afraid that we will.  We won’t ever succeed, if we don’t try.  Yet, we can not be afraid of the changes that success may bring.  Live life without edges.  Embrace your future, DARE SOMETHING WORTHY.

Tax season is drawing to a close, just 3 weeks left.   3 weeks to find a new job or create a business.  My thoughts are going back to creating an environmental membership website.  Actually it has never left my mind (well other than when it was too busy here to think about anything else.)

Renewable energy, green building, recycling, are quite popular topics, however I weigh things with a practical heart…

Discussions and thoughts make me realize that I enjoy doing taxes, but not bookkeeping.  Also I like variety… it fits with my ADD and creative nature, and yes I love designing shirts, just wish I could get more traffic to my store.  Have created a bunch of new designs,  although getting them in my store takes longer than creating them. 

At thirty *ahem* I am tired of working jobs I don’t like and working just to barely pay bills.   Maybe one or the other… but not both.  No es bueno.  Yo quiero un trabajo bien.

Hoping my boyfriend will be moving back to G-town in a few months… he’s been living in Dallas for 2 years and I see him less now than when we first started dating.

Wow and it looks like many of my friends from high school are going through changes. Of the friends I know about 1 just got married (TKC), 1 (KG) is getting married next month, 2 are expecting (TKC & SI).  CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF YOU!!!

Well hopefully next blog won’t be so far away…

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Wow, life has been busy and tax season doesn’t start until Friday.  Already I am working Saturdays.  However the 2 weekends prior I was doing holiday things.

My brother & his wife were in town over Christmas. About a week before Christmas, just the 3 of us spent some time together.  We went out to eat, and watched the live Nativity at Ridgecrest.  The “actors” had to have had thermal underwear on, because it was COLD!!!   Then we went to see the lights in town.  That was really neat.  We actually went out to Brown’s, I had never been. My B & S-I-L said that Macedonia is even colder than it was that night.  It’s actually a bit futher north than we are.  

Spent a bunch of time over the holidays with my family and ST’s family because they are like a 2nd family to me.  

Tax season has already started, and I am in a mad rush to build something that will keep making money after tax season.  This summer my paycheck didn’t cover bills.  I have got to get everything settled out, and move from my current place.

Been reading a bunch of really interesting books about being a better person.  Mostly you need to change your ”insides,” your feelings and emotions and look at life differently.   When you realize that God made us to be more, it changes things.  So many people preach “Money is the root of all evil.” However in the Bible it says “THE LOVE of money is the root of all evil.”  1 Timothy 6:10. By making money then I can help more people.  (It bugs me as a family member CONDEMNED me because I wanted to make more money… than barely being able to cover bills).

However these books also have said that we need to be grateful for today, and happy in what we have today.   Then strive for improvement… when we are happy with who we are, and what we have, then instead of constantly wanting more, we are blessed with more.  More love, more hope, more courage.

So much of my life I have tried to be optimistic because that’s what people want me to be, but I was a cynic.  Now I am becoming a “Better me.” 

So what am a reading… well first I read “The Key” by Joe Vitale, in it he explains how to get more from life.  Mostly by living and loving today, we can achieve more in the future.

“The 5 Lessons from a Millionaire” by Richard Paul Evans, in it he explains that we must decide to be wealthy today, and base our decisions on that thought.  God gave GREAT wealth to many people in the Bible, yet so many of us deny it of ourselves.  Yes Job lost everything, but God came back with double.  Jacob had huge herds, and there are more.

Currently I am reading “Become a Better You” by Joel Osteen.  But so far he has said that God does not stop giving to us, but we sometimes decide that we don’t deserve it, and we stop receiving.  If we keep stretching ourselves then we can reach further.

And according to “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathnach which I read a few years ago, I every night I write down at least 4 things I am thankful for, and why.

So get yourself a little notebook, write down some goals you want to achieve and imagine life after reaching those goals.   Think about your goals every so often and each night write at least 4 things you are thankful for and why.  Then see what happens.

Too many things are going on…

Well last month the people who were handling my store name (www.mylemonadeshop.com) sold it without letting me know.  Rather than hassle with them I decided it was time for a change….

After much thought I came up with a new name.  And this past week my design store is Re-Opened and better than EVER!!!  I now have a store front which means that it looks nicer and lets me present information about my designs and mention designs I really enjoy. 

So please check out www.BlueLemonadeStand.com!  Tell me what you think.  If you think there is a design I really must have, let me know.  I am trying to add a bunch, but time is tight.

But that wasn’t the only store that closed and Re-Opened anew…  the bookstore that I got just 2 months ago only carried hundreds of books.  Well it closed. 

Now my Book-Wizards store carries hundred of thousands of books, movies and music.   http://Store.Book-Wizards.com. 

Plus if you want to open your own store, it has info on how to do that. 

Everything I do right now is planning.  During tax season I will be very busy, but I will be only semi-employed after that, so I must find a way to build up both of my stores before that time.  

So please find it in your heart to buy your Christmas books, CDs and music at my Book-Wizards store.  Or choose from one of the many great (and funny) designs available at Blue Lemonade Stand.

And thank you for everything you do.  Please remember a small act of kindness can ripple out to places unseen by you.

It’s October… there is so much stuff that I have to do, some things I want to do and things that just I have to get.

So gotta go, gotta do, and gotta get…

I haven’t been to the Texas State Fair in 2 years, so I am planning on forcing CE to go next Monday.  Should be able to get free tickets in, and a free t-shirt to wear (and hope the spotters see us in our shirts and give us money).  So we still have to pay parking and for at least one drink.  I bring a backpack, pack a lunch, and frozen water. 

On Monday, job 2 decided I didn’t need to work, so now I don’t have to worry about taking off on Monday.  However that cuts down on my pay.  So now I have got to find another job or another source of income.  I had planned to keep that job until late November, early December.

Tax Season is coming.  This is both good and bad.  It’s still 3 months away, and I as of last week I need tax season type income.  And because of what’s going on it means I will have to put in as many hours as possible again this year which means 60 to 80 hours a week.  Then come home and stare mindlessly at the TV.  It also means that it won’t matter as much when I lose the 2nd job.

However I have to find something now, that can sit on the back burner through tax season and start again in full motion as soon as the season ends.  So I am still trying to figure out a membership website, speaking of which….

I gotta get my membership homework started, finished and turned in…

What some members of my own family don’t realize is 3 years ago I became business partners.  My partner took my money and ran, then spend over 18 months un-employed with brief periods of wacky employment.  Yes I grew up as a saver… but I had bills, so now I have no savings, and lots of debt.  And what’s really bad is they never have had money worries, or heard bosses call them “stupid.”  And they have been basically self-employed for the past 6 years and will be for sure for some years more.

But back to gotta do…

I listened to a special last night… it said that when you do something that you love, you find you don’t have to worry about the bills getting paid.

Growing up I always wanted to be a mom, a writer and a business owner.  Well, being a mom didn’t work out.  But why can’t I be a writer??  Why can’t I own a business? 

When I was a kid, we lived in the country, so having a lemonade stand was not an option.  However I would buy candy on sale and sell it on my bus.  I would take care of my neighbors dogs, and would trade my Star Wars figures for better figures almost everytime.  (Only thing is it didn’t take long for me to have the figures I wanted, and so I stopped trading.)

Even as a teenager I could make money on things, and whenever I wanted clothes I could find them at a discount…  now…  not so much.

My dreams got smashed… yet another teacher smashed my dreams of writing when I was 17.  Having had 5 different bosses call me stupid, I kind of stopped thinking I could own my own business. Even my relative said I didn’t deserve a business. 

But it’s my dream… own my own business, make enough money I can take some time to write.  Yes the stories I have in mind are painful, but they would make people feel less alone….  suppose i never did grow up… always dreaming.

So today was a bit unusual…

First off naturally since it’s the weekend, and I could sleep late I woke up on time for during the work week.  During the week I struggle to get out of bed late!

Then I took both Luna and Butch for a walk.  I only take Butch on Sunday because no one is at the park.  The less people and dogs we might run into the better with Butch.

As we start heading home across the back of the YMCA baseball fields I see something weird, but I can’t tell for a minute what it is.  It’s a lady riding a cart pulled by a pony!  In one of the baseball diamonds!  

She watches us walk away, and rides around the diamond a few times then makes a bigger loop when we get further away.  

Then I leave the Y and start walking towards home.  I hear a noise up ahead, and I walk on a bit and see a motorcycle on it’s side!

There is a man trying to pull his leg out from under it.  I am across the street from him and ask if he needs help.  He says yes, so I tie both Butch and Luna up to a fence.  I yell ”I have been around bikes all my life.”  

Then cross the road,  3 cars pass as I try to cross the street.  I get across the street and it’s a Yamaha V-Star and he has his right leg pinned.  I pick up the bike, and pulls his leg free.  Then 3 cars suddenly stop (after I have lifted the bike).  The guy says he hit the curb and it fell over, to some of the people that stopped.  I think he’s embarrassed that he fell over, got pinned and a woman helped him.

I helped him right the bike.  It’s leaking a little bit.  A guy says it’s fuel, I look at it and say “it’s oil.”  The man says he’s okay, and my dogs are worried, so I go back to them.  He has a bit of trouble starting the bike. (Normal considering it was on it’s side.)

I get home and feed Luna and Butch, then sit on the couch to pull off my wet socks.  (We had walked through a bunch of wet grass.)  Between the cushions of the couch is a weird brown cricket.  I toss him outside, and go feed the goldfish, in the pond outside, and oddly they actually grabbed food from my fingers today!

Then I find wasps on the eaves of my house so I knock them down with this 12 foot long piece of bamboo I picked up on another walk with Luna.  Luna, who has followed me around front, is pulling the last tomatoes off the bushes and eating them. 

Finally the day turns to a normal Sunday. 

Oh and just a note to you locals…  CE and I drove out to Tawakoni yesterday the lake is up!  Wow!  I haven’t seen it like that in years.  Yes I realize it has been like that for a few months but it was still down quite a bit when I went in early June.  Now we just have to get the boat up and running!

Also there is a new restaurant there call Monroy’s (Mexican) and it’s pretty good food!  THEY SERVE HUGE PLATES! The ground beef could do with more seasoning, but hey I am dating a Mexican so I expect flavor. 

Also yesterday I finally got some DVDs I ordered.  I ordered them for myself and my eldest nephew, Mortis or SC.  (I didn’t realize you were Scott Calvin are you going to turn into Santa Claus in a few years???) 

Anyway, these are InuYasha DVD’s  I got a great deal on seasons 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.  But now there is a guy on eBay selling all 9 seasons and the 4 movies for a bit more than I bought mine!  OUCH!!!   Money’s tight, so I haven’t decided what to do.   InuYasha is a Japanese Anime and only on at 12:30am to 1:30am on Adult Swim on Cartoon Network.  I watched 4 episodes from Season 4 just a little bit ago. 

Speaking of videos, I loaded a video of Salem Saberhagen.  I had just got the exercise trampoline  and Salem was exercising on it.  (Okay he was chasing a duster underneath.) But it’s cute.  Also added a McGyver Video I got from dog trainer named Geneva…

Currently watching : Inuyasha Season 4 Limited Edition Deluxe Box Set Release date: 04 September, 2007

So this week was interesting.

I am so thankful to be alive.

For a while on Tuesday, I thought I was going to die, and in moments my life and the lifes of 3 people  who have died  very recently passed through my mind.  My best friend’s grandfather died in December.  My brother in law because of a heart attack in April.  My grandad died in his sleep from diabetes in June. 

On Tuesday, I was driving into work.  The road turned into a four lane, I got in the outside, because I was going to need to turn right at the light, probably 100 yards away.  Suddenly there was a gold car beside me.  It pulled slightly in front, only the front quarter panel was in front of my car.

It started edging into my lane.  I tapped the horn.  I don’t it honked, but this gold car was NOW PULLING INTO MY LANE.  So I grabbed the steering wheel with both hands and I was on the shoulder.

He was still pulling into my lane, I now had only one wheel on the shoulder, the rest of the car was on the grass.  I saw a metal sign pole coming right in front of me.  I cried out “Oh God!” It was a prayer.  Where the pole went I don’t know, because it was right in front of me.  

My foot was on the brake, but I had been going 50 (speed limit) and was now on wet grass.  The car was skidding.  This guy in the gold car still did not see me.  I was driving beside him, off the road, and he didn’t know. 

Suddenly he turns right!!!  He’s turning into the hotel.  My car had finally come to a stop.  He passes less than 18 inches in front of my car. How we didn’t have a collision is beyond me.  Though I am in shock I stand on the horn.  The blaring noise rings in my head, the driver finally turns and sees me.   He drives off into the parking lot, while I am left alone to gather my thoughts.

Everything has happened in slo-motion and some how in fast forward at the same time.  My life has passed before my eyes.  I am in mental shock and having an internal conversation…  “I am still alive!  Thank you God that I am alive.  I have just been driven off the road, but there was no collision.  What do I do?  It was a gold car, that’s all I know.  A male was driving.  What do I do?  Cars are coming, I am on the road.  Can’t be stopped on the road.  My heart hurts.  (Brother in law) just died of a heart attack.  Am I having a heart attack?  Whole body is tingling.  It’s not a heart attack.   I need to get to work, this has probably made me late.  What do I do?   Do I go to the hospital?  No insurance, barely pay bills.  The cars are getting closer, but I can pull out, better get to work.“

So while my body is tingling all over, my chest feels like someone is standing on it, my mind is racing, I pull out and carefully turn onto the frontage road.  A gold car is sitting at the stop light facing me.  The guy stares at me…  it’s the  guy who drove me off the road.  But I am still in mental shock so I keep driving.  My car sounds rough on the interstate, I debate if it’s the road surface or there is something wrong with the tires.  I am still wondering if the tingling is just adrenaline, and if the crushing feeling is okay. 

When I get to work I am shaking like a leaf.   I start telling my boss what happened, after I say I got run off the road the boss tells me that right after getting her Jaguar a guy cut in front of her twice, and “tried to run me off the road.”  I was actually off the road.  She tells her husband both my story and her story.

Since work is weird about personal calls I don’t get to call my mom or CE until after work.  And since I need to tell the story so I can calm down I get on Yahoo Messenger, then I vent to a sweet guy I only know a little bit (AC Thank You!!!)  He IM-ed until I got calmed down.

However I spend the day wondering why I have worked 2 or 3 jobs for 14 years.   The first 11 I seldom took even a day off, never mind vacation.  There is a lot of this world I have not seen.  I am tired of just being able to pay bills and not do things with and for the people that matter the most to me.  

A bit later my boss tells me about Ignite Energy, and how people are making money on Texas electric deregulation, while it talks of money, a lot of Texas has city electricity. They can’t change.  I still haven’t decided what to do there.

When I get off work I drive by where I went off the road to see if I left skid marks.  Yep 12 foot long, only one tire 8 in off the grass.  The shoulder is almost a car width, and I only had one tire on it.

But when I got home I call my mom, tell her what happened, she is a bit worried because I am having trouble breathing.  Then tell her about the ceilings, she thinks that it’s pretty neat. 

Next I call CE, he is worried.  I tell him I am okay, and not to worry, he has enough on his plate.  Last week his doctor changed his meds to something stronger.  He is still unemployed and worried about it, and what’s going to happen to his stuff at his brother’s house. 

I go to ST’s house as planned, because I get to meet my “nephew’s” girlfriend.  It was a nice night.  I get to see 3 of ST’s kids, ST, her husband and her parents who are like 2nd parents to me. Wednesday night I start studing the Cosmic Ceilings course.  Thursday I get to spend some time with CE, he’s trying to sell cars so he has to leave early to meet someone.  I wish I could tell him how important he is to me.   

On Friday I found out that www.mylemonadeshop.com my little store has been doing quite a bit of business, but my email notifications have been going to the wrong address so I didn’t know!    But I have decided I want to see that business grow so my goal is to add 10 designs a week, maybe it can eventually make enough money to pay my bills.

Life is short.  It’s too short to have jobs doing things I don’t like.  Kids weren’t in the cards for me, but that means I should have more time and money and to spend on and with the people who matter to me.  My jobs don’t provide me with entertainment, time or money, something will be done to fix that.  So my goal now is live my life and enjoy life. This coming week I am plan to stay home a lot, praying, and planning, until I figure out how to do taxes, and be creative in between seasons.   

Now to all you reading this… don’t wait.  Tell the people you love that you love them.  Tell people who have helped your life how important they are.  If you are doing something that doesn’t help your life; stop.  Take a break, re-focus, and find the path you need.   Now give everyone who is important to you a hug.  Because we have no guarantees about tomorrow.  

Love, MJ 

It’s Sunday night, my parents had a dog show in San Antonio, so I have been gone ALL DAY.   My parents picked me up at 5:30 am, we picked up Geneva the dog trainer/ handler at 5:45 am. 

My parents take a van to dog shows.  There were 3 kennels in the back that held Priss, Quick and Jeff’s dog Houston. Jeff’s other dog Des and Abilene were loose in the back between the crates.  Then Nicky shared the back seat with Geneva and I.  So 6 dogs, 4 people in a van together.  Fortunately the dogs are quiet and mostly sleep. 

In San Marcos we met up with Jeff & Carol, they had 2 more male dogs, Viking and Abilene’s brother Abbott.   So we had 4 males & 4 females to show and 6 people: 4 handlers and 2 that just held dogs.  Fortunately we only had 1 to 3 dogs in the ring at one time.   We got to the show at 12:30 and left at 3:30 and got home at 9:40.  Unfortunately my sinus infection started really bothering, so I spent most of the ride home  asleep to keep from getting sick. 

But someday I am going to have to go back to San Antonio to see more stuff.